This past weekend I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a long time at church. The first thing they observed was how the faces have changed as they asked “where is everybody?” We immediate agreed that many of our friends have left and are involved in different circles as a result of getting into new relationships or getting married. It’s no secret. After all, the friend I was speaking with hadn’t been around because they themselves were in a relationship. Once that happens, it gets increasingly difficult to spend time with those friends apart from the occasional Saturday breakfast get-together or birthday celebration. We have no control over the timing of such events, but inevitably, our time spent together will be more infrequent, and no matter how sentimental and loyal we are, the closeness and intensity of our friendship will be probably decline over time.
I currently live with a group of men that I have formed a growing friendship with simply by being around them all the time. Fortunately, quality time happens to be one our love languages. I’m committed to being a part of their lives for a very long time, even after they get married. Every roommate I’ve had has become a lifelong friend. In fact, I am going to a wedding of one such friend in a few weeks that lives in the opposite coast. I’m not suggesting that you have to live with someone in order to build a lasting bond of friendship, but this has been the pattern in my life, except when I have lived alone. I’ve always chosen first, the friends that I wanted to live with, and worried about the dwelling, later.
For many people I’ve talked to, even the closest friendships have completely dissolved simply due to a change in marital status or zip code. We ought to choose our friends and decide to invest in those friendships, rather than letting proximity or even circumstance decide that for us, because you still need same gender accountability when you are married. Wouldn’t you rather get that from people that already know you?